A Tradition Best Forgotten
by ToastOnTheSidePlease
Summary: Anne is introduced to one of the minor and less pleasant Plantar family practices.


"Sprig? Polly? Spriiiiig! Polllyyyyy!"

Hop-Pop was unusually animated as he searched high and low all around the house. Despite his best efforts, the only member of his family that he could track down was the honorary Plantar.

"Hey HP." Anne looked up from the sofa where she had been rereading a dog-eared teen magazine. "What's up?

"You seen Sprig or Polly anywhere?

"Nope." She shook her head. "You checked outside?"

"Yup, did a loop around the whole farm. Guess I was too close to the house when I found these. I bet one of the kids saw me collectin' them, told the other, and then they both hightailed it." He sighed. "Wouldn't be the first time."

Anne lowered her magazine and raised an eyebrow. "Found what?"

Hop-Pop immediately perked right back up as he opened his hands to show off a bunch of little lumpy brown things. "Fresh-fallen seeds from the rotweed bush! Nice and ripe and just starting to open up."

"Rotweed? What kind of name is-"

Anne immediately regretted the decision to go for a closer look. One of the seeds cracked open a little, and the foul odor that immediately seeped out was a harsh smack to her senses. She almost jerked her head back, paused, then did a full-body retreat further onto the sofa instead.

"As far as names go, it's pretty on the nose." Hop-Pop watched her face contort with disgust. "Stinks just like somethin' that's been lyin' dead in the sun, don't it?"

"_Yes_!" She shot him baffed look. "So why would you pick those up?"

"Well-"

"Seriously, why would you even bring them _inside the house_?"

"Hold on, I'm gettin' to that. The rotweed seed might might not be nice to sniff at, but it's still great for young frogs and polliwogs. Eatin' these will do wonders for helpin' them grow up nice and strong." He said this as if this was common knowledge. Anne of course was immediately skeptical of his claim.

"And…...this is something that someone did any actual research on, orrrr….."

"It's what my Gam-Gam taught me." He explained. "Just like her folks taught her, and just like their folks taught them, and just as their folks taught them, and just as their-"

"So that's a no, then." Anne concluded.

"It's tradition. Wouldn't have been passed down all these years if there weren't some truth to it." Hop-Pop smiled confidently.

"And so what, frogs and tadpoles eat those nasty things and it'll act like a power-up or something?"

"I have no idea what that reference is, but I think I catch your tone. No, this ain't like Plantars' Potion. What we got here is the real deal." He held them up again to emphasize his point. Unfortunately another seed had cracked open, and Anne got a doubly-strong whiff. She groaned and hurriedly backed away to the furthest point on the couch that she could without falling off.

"It smells like puke that puke puked up!"

"I'm with you there!" Hop-Pop readily agreed.

"And you still want Sprig and Polly to _eat_ those?" Anne gagged.

"Just because somethin' stinks like trash and taste worse don't mean they can't help."

"I think if something reeks that bad, then it means nature's trying to tell you to back off." She opined.

"I know it don't sound right, but you gotta trust me on this. My Gam-Gam would make me eat these whenever she found ripe ones, and although I hated it, just lookit me now! Still here and still kickin'!" He did jumped up high, kicked his heels, and landed back on the floor with an audible crack of something. He grimaced in discomfort. "Oooh, gonna feel that one tomorrow mornin'. Anyways, sure it won't be pleasant for the kids, but it's worth it. Or it will be worth it if I can find them in time."

"What do you mean in time?" Anne coughed and clutched her nose. More and more of the seeds were splitting open, and the rancid garbage odor that was already steadily filling the room grew even stronger.

"Well, you gotta eat the seeds before they fully open up and lose all their stink. That's when they'll do the most good. And by the looks of these, I figure I only got about an hour."

"So...based entirely on some old tradition, with nothing to back it up…." Anne tried to get this straight.

"Uh -huh." Hop-Pop affirmed.

"...Not only do Sprig and Polly need to eat these things, but they can only eat them while they're smelling their worst? All for some kind of vague health benefit no one can describe?" She said incredulously.

"Now you're gettin' it!" He excitedly congratulated her, missing her tone entirely. "You need every bit of extra help you can growin' up in a place like this. What with death potentially lurkin' around everywhere like it does. Heck, just yesterday afternoon you and Sprig had that run-in with that ornery fire-mole, and…."

Hop-Pop stopped in mid-sentence as something occurred to him. Anne could feel the hair on the back of her neck rise. She didn't like the looks of this.

"Uh…..Hop-Pop?"

"Wait...you're still growin' and you face the same dangers that we all do here." He realized. "Danggit! And I've just been standin' here, yammerin' my head off…."

It was with immense dread that Anne correctly guessed where this was going. "No, wait-"

"...When I should've let you have some soon as came in here!"

Anne was usually appreciative of all the ways her adoptive family worked to try and accommodate her. But right now was an instance where she definitely did not want to be included. She let out a hoarse squeak of terror as he held the rotweed seeds up to her.

"Here ya go!" He enthusiastically offered. "C'mon, you can take as many as you want."

Meanwhile, the ripe seeds had opened even further, letting even more of their previously-trapped stink escape. And the closer they were held to her suffering nose, the more amplified their hideous stench became. It made the manure pile in Bessie's pen smell like roses.

"N-no thank you!" She yelped.

"Sure you don't want to try just one?"

"No thank you!" The teen gasped.

"It ain't often that you can find rotweed seeds just on the cusp like this."

"No thank you!" She repeated as her panic grew.

"It's alright. Just hold your nose, chew, and swallow and you'll have them down in no time." His kept up the warm encouragement. "You won't regret it, I promise."

Now that the seeds were being held directly under her face, Anne felt like she was on the verge of being overwhelmed with their putrid stink. Her stomach began performing somersaults.

"No thank you, no thank you, no thank you, no thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you no thank you nothankyounothankyounothankyounothankyounothankyounothankyou I'M GOOD THANKS!" she ended up involuntarily shrieking, sending Hop-Pop hurriedly leaping back. Now free of the worst of the stink, Anne gasped desperately for fresher air.

"I'm sorry about that, kiddo." Hop-Pop said with a frown. "Just wanted to help."

As soon as the caring old frog apologized, Anne couldn't help but instinctively try and cushion her rejection.

"I know, I know." She softened her tone and tried to compose herself, in spite of the stink still floating in the air. "Look, not that I don't appreciate it, I just don't think that it would be a good idea because….because…..uuhhhhh….becaaaauuse…."

"Look, I know they got a mighty big stink," He readily acknowledge. "But the family's always believed they're good for-"

"Oh!" She got it. "It's not just that. See, while those seeds might be good for frogs, they might end up messing me up in all kinds of crazy ways."

"Huh?" He cocked his head.

"You know, different species, different body chemistries and all that. Remember all that biz with the gourd tea?" She explained, all while trying to ignore the still-powerful smell that was continuing to fill the room. Once he recalled "The Incident" in the cornfield, Hop-Pop burst out with a full-belly chuckle.

"Mercy, how in Frog's name could I have forgotten? You're right, best we don't have ourselves a repeat of any of that."

"Yeah, I'd really rather not spent another night running around the farm firing off magic rainbow blasts again." Anne managed to joke, and the two even shared a quick laugh together. "But thanks for thinking about me anyway."

"It's the least I can do. After all, you don't gotta be blood to be a Plantar." He reminded her with a warm smile that brought a grin to her face. "Alright, guess I'll go check the barn again for the others. If you see them, send them my way, alright? I don't have long until the seeds are no good."

Anne gave a thumbs up, then pretended to return to reading her magazine. But as soon as he was gone, she bolted upstairs and into the bathroom. After shutting and locking the door behind her, she bent over the sink and let out a mighty retch.

"Oooooohhhhhh, gross, gross, gross, that was gross…that was gross…...soooooo gross…..ooooohhhh, think I might hurl…." The teen warned.

Thankfully it turned out to only be a dry heave. However, the lingering smell was still so strong she could actually taste it a little. She drank a little water. When she looked back up, no less than three pairs of eyes were staring back at her in the mirror - her own, plus the ones that were incredulously peering out from her thick curly hair.

"You...you asked him about the seeds." Polly said in disbelief. "Why? _Why would you ask about them_? "

"Anne we told you that Hop-Pop was bringing something bad." Sprig reminded. "We told you. You didn't have to ask him what was going on!"

"Yeah, but I thought asking him about what he was doing would probably be the most normal thing to do. I couldn't give him any reason to get suspicious." She explained, then made a face. "But yeah, you weren't kidding. You said it was bad and...wow, that was _bad_."

"Yeah, that all makes a lot of sense, actually." Sprig quickly conceded. He then proceeded to praise her, "Wow, you are _good_. Seriously, he didn't have any idea. Like, at all."

"None! Even though it was your first time with rotweed seeds!" chirped Polly in amazement. "If I were you, I think might have given us up just to make him go away!"

"Hey!" Anne straightened up. "Don't you even joke about that."

"I'm not, I'm serious!" replied the polliwog. "I mean, you smelled them just now. They're the worst, right?"

"Right. Which is why I'm not just keeping you out of sight. I'm getting you guys out of here." Anne decided right then and there. "I know Hop-Pop means totally well and everything….but yeah, no. Just no. No one's going to have to eat eat any nasty smell-seeds on my watch."

"You mean it?" Sprig gasped, eyes shimmering with hope as he popped his head. She pushed him back out of sight and then tousled up her hair to hide any signs of its current occupants.

"Lie low, stay quiet and leave this to me, okay?" Once everyone was set, she beelined downstairs and to the front door, where she ran into Hop-Pop. Anne planted on a smile and gave a wave before telling him, "Gonna grab some beetle jerky at Grub 'n Go. Be back in a bit."

"Okay. Seeya soon, kiddo." Hop-Pop replied distractedly, completely buying her act as he went to check around the kitchen again.

To keep up appearances even more, Anne struck up whistling a tune as she headed off down the road at a saunter. She kept this up until the farm eventually vanished into the distance, behind her, and even then she walked a little further to be on the extra-safe side.

"Okay." The teen finally announced. "I think the coast is clear-"

Polly and Sprig were so overcome with relief that they popped out of her hair like Jack-in-the-Boxes to let out ecstatic shouts. They then both proceeded to crawl down onto her shoulders to give their rescuer crushing hugs of gratitude.

"I owe you a life debt and I don't care!" Polly squeaked joyously.

"This is the greatest thing that anyone has ever done for anyone. _Ever_." Sprig declared.

A toothy grin swept across Anne's face from eat to ear as she squeezed the two back. "Don't worry about it. A protector's gotta do what a protector's gotta do…."


End file.
